'I need a safe and comfortable environment to express” I have heard this few times earlier and keep pondering “how can others create safe environment?”
If, I want a safe environment, this what I can do (my list to empower me)
Express and be open for feedback
When I raise finger on other, rest four are pointing at me. So when I express and may be in my expression blame others, I have risk of getting the blames back on to me. Am I ready to receive that feedback? If, I am open for that feedback, I may find any environment safe to express.
Look inside me
My discomfort with others is based on my assumptions and beliefs. So when I start challenging my own self, start re-looking at my own beliefs - my expression becomes safe for myself. I am not fearful of others questioning me, I am open for questioning by others and self both. I make my own environment safe and comfortable to express.
Multiple Images
When I open my mouth to express, I open myself for all kinds of images. If I live out of one image of myself, I carry the danger of being unfit for that image. The truth is that I am dynamic - I am sometimes caring, sometimes not, I am resourceful sometimes, sometimes not. I work efficiently sometimes, sometimes not. I am all. So after my expression when my any image is challenged by others, I am at peace. I make it safe for myself by having multiple images for myself and accepting myself in many images. Reminded of the quote in Geniekids “Noone can make me feel inferior”. I read in Hermann Hesse’s novel Siddartha “I allowed people to cheat me and take advantage of me”. Yes, If I work with multiple images, I can make me feel safe to express, its my duty for myself.
Feelings
Feelings are natural, they come, so let us not stop them. What I do with that feeling is in my hand. When I am angry, I can shout or be silent, when I am jealous, I can put down others or express my needs. When I am in touch with my response to my own feelings, I make it safe for myself to express.
Motivation
Where my motivation to work is coming from? Is it for myself or it is for others. May be when I work for myself, I am not looking for external appreciation. And when I do not get any appreciation I am fine. I make place safe for me by working for myself.
Labeling and My Language
When I start my language from YOU to ME, I start making things safe for me. I am not in any danger of any discomfort. I talk about myself, I own it. I have no danger of hurting others (one of the fear when I start expressing). When I start minding my own business and forget about others, I start making it safe me.
Someone asked me “Is it that I have work on myself only?”
hmmmmmmmmmm its the choice I make to my environment safe in any situation or I expect from people to make it safe for me.
