Travel and me

TRAVEL - This was my challenged zone - I never liked dirty toilets, travel by bus, car or airplane, I hated long train journeys (and especially stinking toilets), new beds or room to sleep (I am "my bed" kind of person". And directions were my most challenged zone of travelling. Travel light was a nightmare for me - how can I travel with two dresses for 4 days travel?

I traveled very less as a child - I grew up with many inhibition to adapt new places, new situations, new food and new environment.

I traveled most after my marriage.

I traveled extensively with Aarohi kids.

I am a new person after traveling extensively in last few years. When I first travelled by car, I carried my bean bag - just in case I need to sit comfortably during my trip :).

I began with travelling for adventure trips. Night camping used to being a huge inhibition about the safety from animals and people. But night camping gave me an opportunity to have faith in “sharing planet” concept. I realized that animals, including crawling ones (snakes) are not born to harm me and  they are not looking only for people camping in the night and enter their tents.

Trekking And climbing assured me that all the slopes of hills are not too slippery or not necessarily will make me tumble down. More I trekked, more I climbed rocks, more I became friends with them and discovered the beauty of gravity within my body and explored the stamina I have for trekking for hours. Losing my way in jungle treks gave me confidence that I can use my intelligence to find the path back :-). I met nature in nature, Discovery channel was no more “wow” for me. I had experienced it alive in my trips.

And the last but the most important journey was with the people whom I met during my travel - I would have never known the civilization so closely just by sitting in the comfort of my home.

I started traveling to meet people.  Meeting new people, and knowing the unusual work they do by traveling made my traveling a pleasure I started enjoying traveling.

I soon started travelling for a purpose - learning by traveling. I started with Aarohi kids the learning trips. We together traced Cauvery river in Karnataka in its purest form in the fields, mountains and waterfalls. I traveled with Aarohi kids to explore community living in different learning communities. I  experienced forest with Aarohi kids and I am exploring history together this year. And this travel is usually with 12-15 kids. I not only learnt a lot, I am enjoying the whole experience.

I traveled to North east to explore the white mountains, I traveled to Gujrat to feel Kutch and 13hrs birding Safari, I travelled to Himalays to explore river Ganga, I traveled to island to feel live marine life, I traveled to Hampi to gaze stasr the whole nights, I traveled to Rajastahn to feel vibrancy of colurs. I traveled for long hour, I traveled in nights in heat, in bus, in jeeps, with sick child, in many different forms.

Meher, Koki, Ratnesh, Asawari, Dhrupad and all Aarohi kids have been my companion in my travel - my gratitude to all of them for exposing me to the wonderful world of traveling.

Traveling has helped me to come out of shell of ME - I saw life in different forms.
Traveling helped me to  know my needs - I can pack whole comfort in one bag.
Trevlling helped to work on my challenges - directions, strangers, new places, new envorieonemnt - I am much more comfortable.
Traveling helped me to  make new friends and connect with people.
Trevlling helped to know my guest and respect them who travel to meet me.

This reminds me of a quote "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness". -Mark Twain

I still do not like air travel, I think I will get air sickness, I still get discomfort before travelling by bus or jeep for long hours, I still feel the uneasiness with the thought of traveling in heat and on dusty roads - but I travel. I travel because, I learn and I love learning. I travel because I discover myself.

Democracy - Myths

Have been reading about Democracy. Some of the thoughts I liked from Sudbury school, Democracy means, all are aware that they have the rights and people can exercise this as and when needed, so no need to remind people.

 

Some of the myths -

 

Myth no1 - Democracy means ALL SHOULD SPEAK.
This demand from the system itself is against democracy - it does not allow people to exercise their right of "not to speak". This is invasion into their privacy and against the decision to not to speak. 

Myth no 2 - Democracy means "All will take part".
This is against Democracy as it does not allow people to decide to take part in something else which is more pressing issue  for them. (this reminds me quote which Vidya sent few times "all are fighting their own battle").
Myth no 3 -
People are not speaking because someone else is more powerful or they are scared or they have made out of court settlements This judgemental approach is against Democracy as this does not allow people to decide that they can follow someone or does not want to speak now or decide for themselves how they want to move ahead. 

Myth no 4 - All should vote.
This is against Democracy, as this does not allow people to decide that they want to take time to understand whom to vote or they are fine due to lack of information available. 

Myth no 5 - All should contribute.
In any free country there are few who work and other enjoy the works of others, so its fine to have mix of people.

Camera for learning

During one of the team training session at Amable, we went for a “photography walk”. We all choose one topic and we were looking for picture about that topic. I choose “blooming”. When I choose this topic the picture in mind was “a flower blooming”.

As I went for a walk, I saw a different picture of blooming

A dry leaf, blooming

A new and old leaf together in a branch – blooming together

People walking together laughing and blooming together

After this walk my definition of blooming changed. Thank you Nivi for bringing for this in training and introducing camera to learn.

Achieve nothing

I brought beads, paints, sticks, threads and wires for welcome. I also started doing with kids. All kids were busy making jewellery (they had results in head). I decided to explore beads in different ways – I began with exploration and ended up with a result in my hand.

I knew, I became desperate to produce something. I was anxious “stick should not break, something beautiful should come out, something which I can use now”.  As I realized, I laughed at myself and broke what  made and began with exploration. Kids who were also unconsciously watching my creation were surprised “you broke!!!”

I experienced myself.

 

The following is from this post http://www.dailygood.org/story/473/8-fearless-questions-margaret-wheatley/

 

 I think some of the prison bars that we have constructed for ourselves are our fear of losing our jobs. Our fear of not being liked.

"Do not depend on the hope of results. You may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not, perhaps, results opposite to what you expect.

"As you get used to this idea of your work achieving nothing, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself. And there, too, a great deal has to be gone through, as, gradually, you struggle less and less for an idea and more and more for specific people. The range tends to narrow down, but it gets much more real. In the end, it is the reality of personal relationships that saves everything."

What would it feel like to find our fearlessness with each other? For those relationships to be enough? For us to feel we would have made a significant contribution, and led a good life, just because we cared for, loved, consoled a few people? This is quite a frightening thought; to shift from saving the world to loving a few people? Doesn't seem like that will do it, does it?

Read more http://www.dailygood.org/story/473/8-fearless-questions-margaret-wheatley/

TV and Parenting conflict

Parenting and TV – I was also not away from this conflict in my life.

My daughter never showed extra interest in TV – I thought I was blessed and continue t o live without TV for few years.

My son showed extra interest in TV and I thought I have to play the role of parent and look into the issue J

Good news!!! My son and the conflict with TV brought a new learning material at home.

TV came inside the house with all his persistence and consistent behaviour. 

My daughter started showing the sing of interest in youtube movies and TV serials on the net..

It began with negotiations – only weekends, only one hour a day, only two hours a day and no it is unlimited…..

The journey has been beautiful.

His persistence to watch TV increased with my increased resistance to huge amount of time spent on TV.

My daughters love for movies and TV serial grew with my growing rejection for the same.

Conflict continued – we all accepted each other for what we think and feel!!!

One fine day, I decided to look into their world – they continued to talk and talk about every little show they watch, discussion on movie will continue to go on for hours with all kinds of detailed descriptions…………this led to my curiosity in the subject matter of TV and Movies.

I kept ME aside and

I started listening more to their detailed descriptions

I started taking more interest in what they shared “then what happened?”

I started arranging movies for them

I started going to watch movies with them in theatre

I started finding time so they could watch more TV and the same movie multiple times.

And EUREKA!!! I have started understanding “what is in TV and MOVIES”.

Through TV and movies

They talk about fun

They talk about life

They talk about dreams

They talk about people and relationship

They look at life not only TV and Movies.

I have no more conflicts – I see a SPACE for TV and MOVIES in my children’s life and love it.

Conflict and my relationship

What happens when two strong personalities meet – conflict!!!

Me and Ratnesh have our own thoughts on various aspects of life, learning and working. We fight a lot, we fight in public, we fight in private, we fight in front of kids, we fight in meetings, we fight after meetings,……………we fight for a small issue, we fight for bigger issues, we fight for days, we fight for few minutes.

And still we are in love with each other.

We are huge fans of each other.

We respect each other for what we are

And We enjoy each other

Yes!!! We are couple.

After fighting for 25yrs on various topics we both have discovered that we both are strong and intense in what we feel, do!!! And we both have come to a happy understanding “accept each other’s strong behaviour and not wish to change”:). Ratnesh says “I will continue to bug you and bug you more, I will continue to not listen to you, I will continue to work the way I have been working, I will continue to not care for you……………….” And you continue to keep demanding :).

The life after this realization is beautiful :). No more his actions feel bugging (including his 25yrs old sleepers), his behaviour no more seems to me “uncaring”. Everything looks normal, natural and acceptable. He is he and I Am me and that all!!!

When we have conflict, we respond in our own way  - he makes images about me, I make images about him………………we both talk, go in silence…………come back and talk more……………..What has changed is that those images no more bother us. It is all about acceptance without being judgemental about each other’s behaviour.

There were times in life when I wanted to divorce (almost once in a month) – It was a escaping mechanism for me. Runaway in the name of “you will never understand me”.  I can laugh at me now!!! Million times I must have told him “I am done with you and no more want to have any relationship with you”.

The trick was not in running away but to know myself. The journey of conflicts with Ratnesh has given me many hidden perspective about myself and I am happy to accept myself with all my negatives and positives – you know I am ME and that all.  It was challenging :)

My 14yr old daughter is doing research on “marriage and relationships” She shared “I read that if you do not fight, there is something wrong”. She is the one who have accepted us fighting :). 

She never wished for us to live in harmony. She says “its okay to fight”. She questioned me “Ma, its futile to wish that in community all will positive for each other, people will not fight. And your wish that community should have harmony is also futile – all new people will bring their own positive and negatives in the community, we have to just accept all”.

Yes I love CONFLICTS!!!  Yes so true what Asawari said “if you do not fight, there is something wrong”.

Did I fight with you TODAY!!!, If not, lets fight.

Did I demand from you TODAY!!! If not let me ask.

Did I say to you “you are horrible?”

Did I express “you hurt my emotions”?

Did I tell about you “you are very rigid and its difficult to talk to you”.

Did I share with you “you are operating from your beliefs”?

If yes!!! Then,  I am in love with you, I am your fan, I respect you.

If no!!! Then also,  I am in love with you, I am your fan, I respect you.

My little daughter

My little daughter, who is almost 15yrs now, came to me one day and asked “will you be Ok If I choose to do many many different kinds of work and move from one work to another till I find the passion. Currently I do not want to devote my life to one work, like I like dance/art/tarvel but do not want to spend all my energies into it or like you are completely devoted to Aarohi, I know I can devote, but I want to explore more before I decide to devote my life for one passion. If require will you financially support me?

We both smiled and she went away jumping

Asa is approaching her 15th  bday - conventionally the age to think about “10^th exams and the career”. And the thoughts are also triggered by enquiries “is Asawari giving 10^th exam, what about 10^th for her?”
She does not want to appear for 10^th exams now, as she sees no purpose of those exams and we too. She says I do not want to study hard, as I do not know why I need to give 10^th exams. I have lot of other things to do.  She wants to travel the world and then decide what she wants to do.
She is living her dream. She dreams to travel, gets excited to know about new places. Find more about them, decorating her dreams in her dreams. She is living fearlessly, she knows she is something today and will be something tomorrow and so we do.

• She loves dance and she dances well – but she does not want to become dancer
• She writes well and reads a lot but she does not want to become a write
• She loves working with kids and exhibits lot of facilitation skills 0 but she does not want to become go into education
• She has the skill to pick fine arts like painting etc – but she does not want to become painter.
• She has chosen TRAVEL to explore what she wants to do – Its exciting to know.

There was a time when we as parents decided “she will becomes dancer and artist” seeing her abilities in both. We engaged best of the artist and dancers in Bangalore to train her. And soon we realized what mistake we were doing.
After that we never interfered with her or decided for her  - Her travel plan was a pleasant surprise and a relief that “we are not taking her decisions” – We would have never thought about travel (as she never showed any obvious skills to travel” :)
She shared “I hated going to these classes, I am good in art/ dance but I do not want to devote my life for it. I liked writing but I did not want to tell you, I was afraid you will put me to any writing classes!!! But like a wise parent you too soon realized what mistake you were doing, I can share with you now!!!
Thank God, We have not done anything for travel, except enjoying with her!!!
At present she is involve in Kitchen and Accounts @ Aarohi. She plans to take kitchen project with complete handling of "community kitchen" @ Aarohi. She is not open to the idea of taking complete break from Aarohi's session and work only on these projects or any other project - as she feel that she still has to learn more through sessions. While she is excited and involved with making of kitchen, she does not want to do only that.

Asawari shares in her blog (below is a copy paste from her blog)

At  this point i don't think i can decide my future, I can only think about my present. My focus is to live my day with full fun and enrichment and not worry about tomorrow.

Each moment is precious, cherish it.

My future is in my hand and I will make it the way i want and i am confident that i am capable and i don't see a reason to worry or ponder about it now.

Sometimes I do think that if the world is doing so much of preparation for their future am i missing out something and will I regret my decision in future but i know I am not alone and my parents and friends are with me because they have faith in me and my decisions. I know all my decisions are my decisions and i accept them.

I have many interest in many things like Art, craft and other fine motor skills, Dancing and cooking. I love reading and working/playing with children (all ages). I love doing many things and i do it everyday but i don't see them as a career choice. I don't think i have that much interest that i can put all my devotion into it and cherish it. I find traveling the world around and meeting different people exciting and adventurous (even though I feel shy/nervous around new people). I find it something unusual.

I enjoy reading History, Culture ,knowing  about different kind of people and different places. When i read about a place, I want to go there, see the place, taste the food, feel the weather and experience the culture instead of just reading about it. At this point i want to travel the world but that doesn't mean my future is defined or my career choice is made. I am ready to experiment with my life, career and not get bound to something. I want to be free.

People ask what do you want to become when you grow up? I don't want to become somebody i want to be me. I don't want to constrain myself to one career. I want to explore different choices before constraining myself to one. I want to experience and then decide what i want to put my whole effort in. I am not certain about my future but i am 100% of my present and at this point that is enough for me.

I am a child

Colouring on big sheet is my favourite

Messing up my hands is my next favourite

Play with water is another one

Mud bath is one more

Tickling others is also my favourite

Making noise is in my top 10 list.

I can play games and I like to catch crocodile no matter how tired I am.

You know me, I am a child.

Awareness

I liked this thought “Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. - Eckhart Tolle -

This thought made me curious "When you find yourself in a situation that prompts your mind to engage in negativity, take that opportunity to practice 'observing presence.'"

And I found this - "Let’s say you’re in a long line at the supermarket or the airport. The line isn’t moving and you’re getting irritated and angry. If you’re present with it, you may realize it’s not the line that’s causing you to be angry. It’s your mind, whatever your mind is telling you. And the emotions are your body’s reactions to your thoughts about the situation. That’s a very important realization, because now an element of choice comes in. You see that it just makes your life unpleasant to be feeling those things—the irritation and anger serve no purpose. It doesn’t change the situation. And now you have the choice…………………………."

,

Realizing this we call is "awareness" at Amable. My job as a faculty is to create “awareness” and then leave it to the child to choose. When I start “correcting/ teaching/expecting” based on MY awareness, I stop connecting.

If you want to read more……………..click here

right or wrong

Many times we get trapped in "correct and wrong". We ask question to check the understanding, many times may be putting down the child when the responses are not as per our expectations.

Key processing questions (KPQ)  saves the adults from getting into the trap of right and wrong. We are conditioned to find right and wrong in maths, science and language.

I read the activity below and I saw a lot of potential to stimulate the child for various concept, think from various perspectives as well danger of killing it with the child getting into the trap of right process of doing the activity, drawing the bar chart etc etc.

ACTIVITY - LOGIC: Make three columns in your notebook. Name each column as "small", "medium" and "big". As the vehicles pass by you, put a dot in the respective column according to size of the vehicle and after 5 minutes count the total in each column.  

Some examples of KPQ for the above activity are below - initially ask questions to CONNECT with the child (not to discard the efforts), then ask questions which allows the child to think in different perspectives (avoid expecting answers or start judging the child or the answer). In some places you may share "I do like this" and ask child to teach his style. .Below are some examples -
You may ask more questions, not to teach but to learn form the child his perspective).

How do you normally count?
• So, what according to you is big and small?
What if medium is bigger than big?
• How big is big?
How else can you count?
Why do you count?
What else can you do to know to the total number of vehicles?

What else can you do with this data?
Do you see any patterns in the vehicles counting?
What if you cannot use fingers to count?

Open for more discussion on the above.

me and self genie

Some random thoughts

Often interpersonal Intelligence is confused with “emotional intelligence’ and often it stops at feelings. For me this intelligence about ME and me is not only emotions.  

• If I know what makes me follow or not my goal?

• If I know myself what makes my ethical values?
• If I know what I am?
• IF I know how I work, how I work independently, even though I am part of a team?
• If  I know what I think about life?
• If I know what do I need to work on my personal growth, and what is personal growth for me?
• If I know other humans and various perspectives
• If I can interospct
• If I can EMPOWER others

How does one develop all this in children? I will say began with you.
Goals – Set goals and know your own journey.
Ethical values – You know what is ethical and what is not –  You may tell lie to your child, neighbour or boss and its perfectly fine with you. Know yourself what makes it fine for you? You donot have to justify what you think – just know yourself why it is fine and not fine with you.
Introspect – Does the introspection make you feel bad about yourself? Do you avoid introspection and confrontation with yourself ? Know yourself - what makes you run away and do you accept yourself for what you are? Remember there is difference between accepting and justify,
Empower others – Yes, shift power from you to others. Is it difficult for you to accept your child’s ideas? What makes you to follow or not follow your child or others? Know yourself.
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us"—Oliver Wendell Homes

TV and visual media

Hmmm TV and its use

Few weeks back, I watched “Fashion movie” with a 14 and 9 yr old girl – I was glued to the movie as much they were – in the middle of the movie we were wondering “can drugs really kill your senses?” “Why will someone like do that”? “Is she aware of what she is doing?” Recently I saw “Amadus Mozart” with my daughter and we could discuss the movie for hours………………including his filthy language (Mozart telling his girl friend “tae ym this - eat my shit”).

 I find it difficult to watch Chota Bheem and Spider man beyond one time, while my son can watch for many many times – I am trying to understand what does one need to be able to watch Chota bheem for 13 times – I am on my journey with my son.

I like advertisement – mostly kids at O-campus or at my home update me with the advertisements – they also explain to me with their thoughts. We also ponder “does someone really become tall or wise with any Bournvita or Horlicks and we also survey the children who drink these additives in their milk and are not tall ……….or the one who do not eat and are tall or in spite of fairness cream one is still dark or how can the skin color make to talk on the stage or what is difference in silk and plain Cadbury – is or worth the cost difference and what are the other alternatives or how one can think of a lines which are so close to hearts “hare k friend are (Airtel)………….the list is long.

The TOPICS and the curiosity which these advertisements generate – I could not have discussed without these visual aids? J

I like acting like chota Bheem or spider man or Dora – Its just that I am not able to and kids find my efforts futile and funny.

Yes I see a tremendous learning value in TV – it is not the TV but we need to change the way we look at TV. My daughter is into "Hannah Montana" - she has read all her books, watched various episodes of the play. movie etc etc - The pleasure, the thoughts, the inspiration she drives is worth watching :). My son is into Chota Bheem  - the details, the fun, the passion, the expressions, the narrations...........he shares are worth enjoying watching with him.

 Addiction to TV  - hmmm a very important topic.

In my opinion child watches TV endlessly in the absence of other interesting things to do, when I used to feel bored, I used to flip channels endlessly, sometimes even for 2hiurs and at the end crib “nothing interesting – its waste of time”. Do you also do?

I have found many other things to do :) now I do not flip channels. I watch TV with kids for my interest (understand children and their needs). I still do not find TV to be useful for me, but I do watch good movies to know about history, people, relationship, thoughts………………something which I cannot read always in three hours.

Personally I feel – what has missed in the process is the doing part or this media and use of it to -

Keep the child inactive OR Feed the food OR Kill time OR Keep some silence in the house OR I get some time, while child is busy watching TV ......and the list is long.

 I find all VISUAL media appealing and effective as a learning tool

• It can tell you something in one second
• It can make you feel what you cannot read
• It can show you something you cannot imagine

As an educator I find all kinds of animations very creative – the stories, the animation, the impossible actions………….list is long.

ENJOY watching.

Value of money

Money - Sharing our journey.

Our children expressed the need of pocket money two years back – and we came up with a  figure of Rs 500/- per month. How we reached this figure – I do not remember, but probably my son was exploring the numbers of hundred's and 500 looked a lot to him to satisfy his needs.

The need for pocket money came when visits to the market started becoming painful. Every visit our son came back unsatisfied, we came back concerned. He would want to buy many things, we would take the decision for him, that too mostly inconsistent - sometimes we would say yes, sometimes no.

Since we were taking decision based on our perspective – we decided to remove ourselves from this status of authority and let him decide how he wants to spend. Asawari, our daughter, did not show any need of pocket money. “I have everything" was the usual response and but anyways she liked spending this money on her novels. Which probably as parents we were more appreciative off - after all she was buying books (even if they were novels).

Well, first few months were exciting. Even over draft was allowed. But soon I was questioning, “why pocket money for kids only – while I have no restriction for what I can buy, why my kids have that constraint?”
Were the belief “I am responsible and they are not? I understand the value of money and they do not? I will not spend on unnecessary things and they will?”

Well, when I introspected, I realized I too as an adult fall under all of these categories – there are many things in my cupboard I bought on impulse, there are many things which I bought and am not using now, many which i already had enough.

I did not like the idea of this imbalance. I shared with family - my kids still wanted to continue with pocket money as they felt this was their money. I objected, what is my money and what is their money?

Soon the boundaries of pocket money were broken – we all are free to buy what we want. We all are free to question each other WHY we want to buy? We all are free to still go ahead and buy “just like that” . We all are still free to comment on each other “this was expensive.” Now this definition of expensive is different for different members in the family. To go for a drumming program and drive 25kms did not look like waste of money, while going to a restaurant which is 15kms far to eat looked like waste of petrol. So we started to question ourselves.

Dhrupad, our son likes money, he likes to spend and he likes to buy things just like that. I used to like buying, now I do not. Asawari does not buy, but if you buy for her she is happy. Ratnesh, my husband does not buy at all. So we have wide variety at home and we enjoy each others' choices.

So the question still remains “how do we develop sense of money in our children"? The answer is simple – by making them EXPERIENCE :)

We started giving our purse freely to our children, when they go to buy any stuff. They take care :). Them losing money or the purse itself is same as us losing it.

Now they even do bargaining. Once in Aarohi kids were calculating the cost of JCB digger to make play ground. Dhrupad calculated and and acceptable rate was Rs 750/-per hour. When they went to finalize the digger, the driver said ”Rs 700/- per hour. Kids insisted that it should be Rs 750/- (because we did calculation @ Rs 750/-per hour).

We went to Goa on holiday and gave children all the money asked them to keep the trip accounts and make all payments and purchases. We thought they will be excited to have free access to money and spend the way they wanted, but they were apprehensive “what If we lose money?”

Interesting, to know kids are equally concerned about money.

So here is what we recommend based on our experience: create opportunities for your child to handle money

• Allow your child to lose money (we all become more prudent after we lose our purse).
• Make your child decision maker in the home “let the child decide who needs shoes, and who needs sunglasses – this makes them THINK and experience money in real sense.
• Compare various cost, do analysis. We saw a t-shirt in Reebok for Rs 2000/- and the similar on road side for Rs 100/- - Dhrupad was amazed to calculate that he can buy the 20 t-shirts in the same money. He made plans - who all I can gift those extra t-shirts.
• Yes, allow your child to plan gifts for others and self also :)
• Enjoy the play of MONEY at home.

Every child is work in progress

Someone shared "during live station kids wanted to show "how is my drawing".
I experienced the same sometime inside me when kids show competition, eagerness to be praised
In my workshops also people ask "I do not do, but  my child compares".

Well,
At Aarohi the child is experiencing "self praise, cooperation etc".
Outside child may be experiencing "praise, comparison, etc ete

So what is OUR role?
I think our role is PURELY to EXPOSE the child to various aspects.
I also believe that our role is to present various ASPECTS of one thought and break my beliefs (thinking that competition is harmful is also my rigid belief).
I also wish that we make my role as a catalyst but not act as a chemical to being any changes in the way the child is.

So nothing is wrong or right
nothing is perfect
Its all EXPOSURE and THINKING.

Also the child asking for a praise in no indication of anything (low or high self esteem) - but the way I react to that makes a difference in the way the child think about self. So while I do not play a role in WHAT the child thinks, I do play a role in HOW I make child feel and think.

This is my own realization when I REACT to my own child who shows "I want to win, I want to compete, I am better than others, I want to be best". I have started looking at his expressions as HIS NEEDS. I do not want to change him as per my thoughts (compassion, co-operation...........etc etc). So while I know what happens when I work with co-operation, I also know that If  a child like competition and If he is asked to be co-operative it is equally harmful in making of a person. Believe in competition OR co-operation will build with child's own experience (WIP) but how I make child believe in himself is making foundation for a child feels about self NOW.
So what is my role?

• To make child feel low about self because the child is looking for a praise?
• Or accept the child what he think/ believe/needs?
• and/ or explore various aspects of one thought and allow the child to construct own understanding?

We, as adult also need to accept that EACH child is Work In Progress - and it will be too soon to judge any child by his current thinking or believes. While, every adult is work done.
I hope I am making some sense. I am learning with chidlren EVERYDAY, I am AMABLE!

Will you be with your child?

All we need is to ACCEPT our children  - We are constantly busy in creating "future". No matter what you do or not do for your children, they will lead a happy life. Will they live the happy life with YOU depends on how much you ACCEPT them NOW?
If your child is ugly, she will become beautiful tomorrow.
If your child is stupid, she will be intelligent tomorrow.
If your child is failing, she will succeed tomorrow.

Everything will happen - but what will be your PLACE in your child's life?  Will your child be WITH YOU or will say "my parents never accepted me for my ...........................? They always wanted me to...................".

Does this gives you goosebumps?