My little daughter is turning 16 next
week. I am in my 40's, I have lived my life, aiming to settle down in
life, while my daughter is entering into life. She is entering into
unknown, she is entering into age when typically one starts thinking
“what next?” “What will be my future?”
She shared “Sometime I feel I am
wasting my time, all around me of my age children are busy building
their future, I am living my present”.
I sensed anxiety, at the same time I
admired “living present”.
This took me to back to my teenage,
when I used to look into daily newspaper to see “what kind of job
10th fail people gets?” I was living in
future............When I got admission in architecture, I was busy
making my portfolio for future (job) and the chain continued till I
explored Aarohi.
Something struck to me “why its the
age (16yrs) to be clear, or do something about future?” We had a
discussion on “is it about age or is it when one feel is ready?”
I shared “Imagine there is a rule that all 13yrs old should be
going for shopping every Sunday?” I think, one goes for shopping
when one feels the need/want to buy not goes because all 13yrs old
should go for shopping”. My son, who was listening all this, got
excited with the thought of this kind of rule :).
I shared when I got married and left my
parents house, I did not feel that I am not ready to leave my parents
house, I left because I wanted to go out do job, have my own
house.......I did not get married because all 25yrs old girls should
be married. --:).
I shared “at this age, I feel that
you have many other bigger challenges to face, than only preparing
yourself for future. It is the age when your body is changing, your
feelings are changing, your needs are changing. In appearance, 16yrs
look big, but struggling to live upto image of that bigness. You have
your own sets of struggle – trying to establish yourself, knowing
your self beliefs, understanding your needs and wants, gaining
confidence, building your esteem....................and many more
such things. Why not live “in present” and stay with present?
We pondered together. Is it that people
give us those images or we confirm to those images? We also pondered
how does these conventions are formed? How this would have become
norm that “one should get ready for future”, What is future? What
is present? What happens when one lives in present for future?
Exploring more
