See me way or your way?

I have been on my journey with team at Geniekids on open communication and expressions, role of individual in a group or community (something we have not learnt in our childhood, jut we have been doing in our own way).

Well, just after the session I got a mail from Giri “Today u were missing from GP day :( I thought let u decide, but I think I should have expressed myself the need of faculty to be there”.

My first reaction was “I have been running between O-campus, doctors appointments. I was emotionally down with crisis in Aarohi community,………………down with my own health, I was suspecting heart attack coming to me (wild imaginations, cannot help)”. I had  to go for doctor appointment for my severe dental crisis hence it was fair on my part to be absent from the session” - See I have all the justification - do I sound justified for missing from GK day?

Inspite of my health I was present in Aarohi team meet and also team training, it is just that I was not part of GP day event. I even went up but just could not stand (imagination of heat attack) because I had not eaten (I miss my meals when I am mentally and emotionally down, and this lead to imaginations). - See I have all the peripheral things to prove my working intentions and my willingness to work and adjust:)

But me new Aditi looked at her intentions – "She was right, I should have been there. It just needed some adjustment with doctor inspite of many other factors”. It is not about attending or her expressing  - it is about ME - how do I look at various perspectives?

I am thankful to Giri to let me EXERCISE myself and feel good about me to be able to practice what I preach. I responded “my bad, should have been there, will be part of all events now onwards”. I had no other thoughts after I wrote this. 

I mean it – thanks Giri

Loving it.

My blogs are my stress reliever and bring some humour in my life when I look at it from different perspectives. So I like to write, I like to share and I like to smile. 

Anger and unmet needs

Anjal shared "

Violence in any form is a tragic expression of our unmet needs."
Marshall B. Rosenberg, from NVC (non violent communictaion)

Yes what the NVC says is true - When I am angry, I am angry for unmet needs of safety, rest, time, hunger, respect, care.......................................
This quote makes anger so beautiful to understand (for me). So when a child is angry, should I understand the unmet needs?


Two kids were fighting for the space and did not want to sleep next to each other, I asked what is your need - initially they started with "he pinches me in the night, he does not give me space................I kept on asking "what is your need?, they were looking at me, what need is she asking about? I gave the clue
"is your need to have safe sleep?"
He said YES and another quickly said "my need is to have more space"

and soon the whole group was trying to find the solution to fulfill the needs of both the kids. NO more blames, no more anger, no more pinching, no more blaming.

Adjustments were made (in the bargain I realized I got 1/4 of the bed: ---)

Is any kind of feeling (negative) is expression of "unmet needs?"
You are bad mummy - what is the unmet need?
He is fool? - what is the unmet need?

Self directed learning

We propgate self directed learning at Aarohi
We all at Geniekids learn thru consdueted sessions and training :(

So initited the "self directed learning".

Objective - to understand open and self driven learning in a group setting.

• All of us have done TTT - that were conducted classes :-(
• After TTT we have been attending meeting where agenda is fixed and focused.
• After TTT we have also been attending training sessions (on fridays last year and wed this year) which are also facilitated :-(
  
• We have not experienced TRUE open learning in a group setting.

How will it work
We will keep 5 continuous Wednesdays training sessions aside for this. The first four sessions we will be open sessions and 5th will be the reflection session.

1. Some random resources - reading (articles / book extracts) and viewing (videos) will be circulated in advance by any of the members who are to be part of the training. These will not be tied to any one topic - so any resource is fine. There will be no compulsion on anybody to go though the resources.
2. In the session the participants can do anything - they can talk, eat, sleep, argue, fight, sulk, laugh, dream, write, dance, browse internet, read alone or to all, play music, do drama - actually anything that anybody wants to do. So all could also be doing many different things at the same time.
   
3. The only commitment everybody who signs up for this training does is that we will ALL be inside the session for the all the Wednesdays. (if somebody is absent due to medical reasons that is fine)
4. You can bring in your own goal, agendas, readings, opinions, movies, bed, food, beliefs, music, games - whatever - to the session.
5. The mother code will apply - you cannot harm yourself, others and environment physically. You are however free to attack others emotionally and mentally.
6. You are free to exchange anything.
7. If after 4 sessions we all think 4 are not enough we can extend the number of open sessions to 5 or 6. However open sessions have to be followed by a reflection session.
8. The 5th (or last) session will be the reflective session - each one of us will present in a 5-10 minute window our experience, learning etc. Again up us what we share, how we share.

Notes from session one
My thoughts on today's session on Self Directed Learning.

I started with excitement
First ten minutes were nice, as the group was settling, finding space to began...........
Then the frustrations started - there was anger, anxiety, feeling of waste of time.........urge to leave for home in the middle of the session and thought of better spend time with my ailing daughter or finish my work.

But to have faith in the the process - I stayed.
Slowly the group unfolded
Looking forward to the next session.

I was personally uncomfortable with the actions "started reading or doing self work".
I was fine with "silence".
I was fine with discomfort of few "why nothing is happening".
I was fine with efforts of people to do something or "initiate the conversation in many ways".

I am initiating the expression as a part of the process. I am also initiating the thoughts about self, about others, about journey.  My expression are not to establish wrong or right, dos and don'ts - they are just HONEST expressions, Normally I do not share these expressions and take it as acceptance of all the actions, But to be true to the process and honesty of the expressions, I allowed myself to be true to myself (no violence to me) and let all emotion flow with my awareness.


Consciously me and Ratnesh decided to not to lead - hence did not initiate the reflection in the session "what each one of us had the responsibility in the process". Just to clarify the sessions are not on learning but in "group, community, responsibility, expression............... a long mail in circulation earlier".