Anjal shared "
Yes what the NVC says is true - When I am
angry, I am angry for unmet needs of safety, rest, time, hunger,
respect, care.......................................
This quote makes anger so beautiful to understand (for me). So when a child is angry, should I understand the unmet needs?
Two kids were fighting for the space and did not want to sleep next to each other, I asked what is your need - initially they started with "he pinches me in the night, he does not give me space................I kept on asking "what is your need?, they were looking at me, what need is she asking about? I gave the clue
"is your need to have safe sleep?"
He said YES and another quickly said "my need is to have more space"
and soon the whole group was trying to find the solution to fulfill the needs of both the kids. NO more blames, no more anger, no more pinching, no more blaming.
Adjustments were made (in the bargain I realized I got 1/4 of the bed: ---)
Is any kind of feeling (negative) is expression of "unmet needs?"
You are bad mummy - what is the unmet need?
He is fool? - what is the unmet need?
Violence in any form is a tragic expression of our unmet needs."
Marshall B. Rosenberg, from NVC (non violent communictaion)
Marshall B. Rosenberg, from NVC (non violent communictaion)
This quote makes anger so beautiful to understand (for me). So when a child is angry, should I understand the unmet needs?
Two kids were fighting for the space and did not want to sleep next to each other, I asked what is your need - initially they started with "he pinches me in the night, he does not give me space................I kept on asking "what is your need?, they were looking at me, what need is she asking about? I gave the clue
"is your need to have safe sleep?"
He said YES and another quickly said "my need is to have more space"
and soon the whole group was trying to find the solution to fulfill the needs of both the kids. NO more blames, no more anger, no more pinching, no more blaming.
Adjustments were made (in the bargain I realized I got 1/4 of the bed: ---)
Is any kind of feeling (negative) is expression of "unmet needs?"
You are bad mummy - what is the unmet need?
He is fool? - what is the unmet need?
1 comment:
I guess here 'needs' includes 'wants'. I have experienced with myself that when some of my needs are not being fulfilled, I have negative emotions coming out with some people but, not all. Eg: I am too tired (I need rest), I would get upset with something my wife says and misbehave with her but, I may not misbehave if my friend said the same thing. So, I 'create' more needs say when I am with my wife - my need to have her understand that I am tired.
(1) My emotions are a result of a mixture of my unmet needs as well as wants.
(2) Little unrelated with the discussion here - is it always the case that emotions bring the behaviour or sometimes behaviour also brings emotions?
Post a Comment