My role

During KAA – day one was fine – some kids took responsibility,  some did not, some were in exploring forest, some were in exploring friends…………..by the day two it became that “I will do if I feel like, I will listen if I feel like, I will do the work If I feel like  – I am on holiday”.

Well, a quick SOS meet was called – there was pin drop silence and I spoke for 7 minutes.

Life in KAA is tough – KAA is not picnic, holiday or friends trip. When you come to KAA, you come to work in group. You do not have choice: “I do not feel like, I will move around with my noval, while othersssssssssss will keep the luggage”. Faculty is not here to go behind you and remind you the objective – it has ONE clear objective “we have come here to experience forest” Lot of people have put in efforts to make it possible for you, we expect your involvement. We are fine if only two kids come for KAA next time, but all the kids who will come for KAA, have to come with understanding of  the objective.” For your picnic and friend need – use holidays and other occasions – KAA is is not for that.  There is  no free time, but there is lot of  freedom.

There was a silence after this speech…………………..

The one who were already into action – this speech did not made any difference, they were  on their path.

The one who were on the edge – got the clear message

The one who were not into the session and taking things for granted – got very very clear message.

This also clarified our approach to us – we are not in Aarohi to “serve” them or “pamper” them. They take responsibility of their behaviour, needs and goal, If they do not ------------- we need to shake them up – for this we need to be clear J

I think raising voice, expressing your anger to kids is not bad. But to carry that anger, connecting all previous events and also attacking their personality is where we loose our track. Keep it short, crisp and clear.

There is no point in getting agitated inside and not expressing.

There is no point in getting agitated and blaming others

But I find point in getting agitated and expressing CLEARLY.

During the silent walks to forest – some were in the beginning on their own trip – it was very clear that we are going for silent walk and this is constraint – we needed silence to listen to the forest. The one who were initially took this for granted were asked every time they were loosing track. After the first trek they got the message

We were firm

We were consistent

We were to the point (silence)

Our consistent approach, clear expectation made difference children who were on the edge, this also gave comfort to children who were focused on their goal, this gave  a clear message to kids that this is not the place for their own agendas.

As a faculty I come across tough, soft, demanding, with clear objective. One child expressed with a  big smile “kids who do not listen need a proper faculty like Aditi aunty, kids who listen can work with not so proper aunty like..........".

I personally think I am not in session to collect point for myself "how good and nice I am  and how popular I am or I can be ". I am here to ensure my sessions are safe, stimulating, challenging, understanding, learning and have freedom of expression. I am honest with children, I am observing and bringing necessary facilitation for kids. I shake up a child when needed, I show the mirror to the child when require, I am a support when the child needed, I am tough when it requires, I am soft when I am require - I cannot be one, I have to be flexible.

Today at O-campus, one child since yesterday is just not ready to listen, hurting others, putting down self, crying, not doing work in the session, screaming. after watching him for 1-1/2 day and few months, years - I decided to shake him up. Finally he was removed from the session - I told him I am consciously raising my voice, I am not angry, I am concern for him and thoughts about himself.

I raised my voice and asked him to "find his own objective of being here and find solution for his mental and behavioural state". he has been expressing " I am bad, noone likes to play with me, noone is my partner............I cannot do this.".

 After sitting silently for some time - he came to say " can you help me?"

He made a deatiled list (his beliefs) - what all I feel is I am bad................He then replaced with opposite............he wrote positive affirmation for himself................the journey continues with him.

Blogging this to share, Just in case if you think we do not say anything to children :)