Last year in summer we had constraint “TV one hour”
This year in summer we have constraint “one hour new doing”
Dhup is having non-stop TV since school got closed.
- Asa will tell him “now it is enough, the sound is getting in my head”
- Rat will say similar things
- I am trying to train my ears to CLOSE for TV noise (for me anything on TV is noise) – I only remind him of the one hour of doing new things. I guess in home, I had maximum problem with TV noise. I am at peace with my new hearing sense.
Few more constraints – meals should not suffer, take care of place, other routines take care etc. He had his choreography performance in between and he managed to reach in time (7 in the morning), did all preparation by self and reached everday for the practice.
We tried with TV constraint but more we had constraint, more he wanted to see TV. So this time we are trying with no constraint - Let us see age gae kya hota hai.
We had this for chocolate - we have unlimited access of chocolates at home – after initial excitement we have settled with need/ desire based chocolate. Only constraint is “meals should not suffer”.
So whenever we have any issue like him not eating food, not taking care of the time or place etc – we try to talk about “take care of feed, meal time, what is expected behaviour etc. Less talks on because you watch TV, you are not eating etc.”
Trying to understand his point of view – let us see how it goes.
5 comments:
Reminds me of what I experienced during a course I took,' the more we resist the more it persists, the more we accept, it transforms'.
I liked the thought of having 'one hour new doing'
I used to think that children do not get bored of watching tv..now I see them switching it off after some time and jumping on to something else.Still observing...
Trying to understand his point of view – let us see how it goes.
He is not blaming “you do not allow me to watch TV”. He is at peace, managing his time, watch as and when he can, doing other stuff too, does not feel bad for his need to watch TV”.
In our house we don't watch TV for 6-7months...Let me post a blog about it:-)
Continuous TV – slowly other things started getting affected – brush, bath, potty, food, sleep, work……………….
Took a pause – And asked him to make system (tool) for himself to check his own expected behaviours
Initially reluctant – I was clear with my needs. I decided to not to misbehave with him and not take reference of TV “because of TV you are doing this”.
I insisted that “how will you check by yourself that you are doing all this without reminders”.
Finally we together made a hanging check list, in the process also explore “how to become friends with spellings”.
You must be thinking why am I doing all this?
My reasons – I do not want to misbehave “scream, scold, threat, punish”. I don’t like doing all this.
I am assertive for my needs – TV should not affect others (keep on telling come for lunch, clean up the place, do activity etc).
So I am trying in various ways till I get desired results.
Also it is no more about nuisance of TV, beliefs about TV. TV is no more a noise for me, or some allergy.
It is all about "his needs and my needs".
We both are trying to understand each other's needs -:) and working together to live in harmony.
I am enjoying this.
Post a Comment